A Personal Tribute to Likhetso Banda (1981 - 2012)

It is in death that we realize how a beautiful strand Likhetso was in the fabric of the Christian community. But let us not unravel. Instead, let us hold together and love each other the way he loved us. 

And we know he did. Let us learn from his attitude and his impartiality to friends. Let us realize though he is a strand removed from us, God has taken him in order to add him to the fabric of the community in glory where his life deserves to be. 

Likhetso was a great drummer and his departure will leave us with a missed beat. Our music is solemn because even though we know he is in a better place this place will never be the same without him. But without a doubt, Likhetso is definitely playing a flawless beat in the worship team in heaven. 

This morning it has finally sunk in, he is truly gone. The tears that I have shed this morning seemed to have piled up for the last 20 hours. For a while I thought it was a crazy dream and i waited eagerly to wake up. But as reality sank in, our brother is gone for sure. My wife tried to comfort me but for some minutes there, i was simply inconsolable. There is a reason to my pain

Liks loved people, and I was not an exception. A time in my life nearly 10 years ago when things in my life were not going so well, when people found it easy to point fingers at me because of my faults, and to ridicule me because of my frails, even though he was a normal funny person, he was still loving and friendly. He was one individual who genuinely cared. 

I remember him at Northmead Assembly, outside the church with his smile and friendly demeanor. I recall him encouraging me. And even though he was younger than me, he showed greater maturity and love. I will miss him for that. 

I will miss him for his friendliness and brotherly kindness. He was just like that. I remember meeting him at ON THE RUN, and after some interaction he dropped me off at church road and he came in to meet my cousins, and interacted with them as I watched with a pleased smile. Liks would never embarrass you with a bad attitude. 

I remember him during music rehearsals, his passion, his laughter, his ideas, and his specialty in funny but well synced beats. I remember. Liks was truly a star, but he was still humble and kind. 

But I wish I had said thank you. I really wish he had known how much I appreciated him. I really wish I told him how he stood out different from others, worth emulating. Maybe I did, but i can’t remember it because he deserved more gratitude than I could ever recall giving. But if it makes me feel any better, thank you Liks. Thank you for being you and being a blessing. Your music, your smile, your love for soccer, your friendship, and your Christian faith are truly not in vain. THANK YOU

Likhetso Banda died on 22nd June, 2012 after suffering from a heart condition. May his soul rest in peace. 

Visiting the Victoria falls

Our trip to Livingstone was preplanned but I kept it as a surprise to my wife. So I made reservations for a double executive room at Chapa Classic Lodge in the heart of Livingstone as recommended by my old time buddy Krestah Muchindu.

I had to make the reservation 24 hours in advance because I did not want drama upon arrival. I believe planning is very important before you embark on a trip. And I tried to be true to the principle.

Being me, I do not take the offer. I employ negotiations skills. I followed through graciously and I was awarded about $11 discount.

After I broke the news to the wife that we were heading to Livingstone for three days, we packed and headed for the bus station where my young brother, Israel, had made resevations earlier.

When we got there however the Mazhandu bus station attendant who had made the reservation called their Lusaka counterparts and the response was disappointing. They had sold all the tickets and the bus was full.

Shalom Luxury Coach

We hesitantly turned to the next bus service, Shalom, which proved to be more efficient and more comfortable. To start with the Mazhandu bus which should have come at 11am arrived after 12pm at the same time with the Shalom, apparently which was on time.

What was a disappointed had just turned out for our good. I had almost entertained the thought that we had started the trip on a bad note, and here I was being proven wrong all together. This is going to be a wonderful experience.

There are seven towns to conquer on your way from Kafue to Livingstone. The first is Mazabuka which we knocked out only in 60 minutes. Along with that the Mazhandu bus was also behind us, much to my pleasure.

Monze was next. Our luxurious coach had to stop by at tooters, a fast foods joint, where we had to buy refreshments. 

Accident scene after Monze

As we left Monze we found what appear to be a fatal accident. A truck carrying maize had over turn and the drivers cabin seemed rather twisted. We could see bystanders pulling out the victim out of the ruined truck cabin. What a horrid site. I turned my camera away and the trip continued.

Next, we passed Chisekesi, a countryside and serene and serene location. This is where my wifes grandmother stays. Other than that, we were soon approaching Pemba.

Beyond Pemba, past Batoka where there is a turn off to the famous Mamba mine, we were well on our way for Choma. With a routine stop over, Choma had fallen. Kalomo was next.

We got to Kalomo after 4pm and we just needed Zimba out of the way and our sights would be set at our final destination. That is what happened in no different way. Just before dust at 6pm we touched down and out went my tablet and, straight to social media and I proudly updated my check in on foursquare and facebook - we were in Livingstone, the tourism capital of Zambia.

My good old friend Krestah picked us up at the station and we went straight to the Chapa Classic Lodge. Our room was spacious and comfortable with 42" LCD TV, a bathtab and shower with hot water. It suited our needs just fine.

They have wifi provided by ZAMNET which was the disappointing part because it could not work. If Microlink had better customer service I could have done an immediate recommendation.

But that didn't prohibt yours truly, your tech savvy self-appointed ambassador of tourism. My galaxy tab is accessing 3G on airtel without any difficulties at all. That is how come this blog has been done wholly on my tablet.

Anyhow, Chapa Classic has full English breakfast coming along the booking. We were up at 7am and walked to the diner for our breakfast. But the surrounding are clean, the courtesy is world class and the service excellent. Plus the peaceful environment that we enjoy, being a tourist in Zambia is a wonderful experience. Looking forward to day two.

After breakfast we took walk into town, bought sunglasses and slippers and jumped on a taxi and headed to the Victoria Falls.

The experience was exhilarating. After taking some photos we were served with rain coats, which were appropriate because it was about to thunder. 

We couldn’t wait to get to the knife bridge. Naturally we were all smile, excited like toddlers. The feeling was intense. 

We were right in the heart of one of the wonders of the world.

It was already raining in the bushes leading to the knife bridge. We got there and took a few pictures. Memories had to be saved. We then crossed the little bridge under the storms of the falls. The feeling was overwhelming.

On the other side of the knife bridge, we could see the cross boarder bridge where banji jumping is done. We opted not to succumb to the temptation. We have saved that extreme for next time around. 

Finance Bank and Professional Life dare to make insurance accessible to all

FBZ managing director and CEO Mr. Barkat Ali and PLAL managing director,
Mr Rajagopal Krishnaswamy complete the signing ceremony. 

Professional Life Assurance Limited (PLAL) has partnered with Finance Bank Zambia Limited (FBZ) to deliver affordable life assurance policies through FBZ’s 52 branches across the country. The partnership was launched on Wednesday 30 June, at Finance Bank Headquarters, Lusaka. 

Speaking at the launch FBZ managing director and CEO Mr. Barkat Ali said his bank will act as the distribution channel for the insurance products under the partnership and PLAL will underwrite the policies. 

The Bancassurance partnership will cover two particular products namely Bantubonse and Credit Life. The partnership is seen as a way to make it easier for the low income bracket to access to affordable insurance services. Clients will now be able to conduct their banking and have access to the insurance services all under one roof. 

The Bantubonse life assurance policy offers protection to the policy holder and their family in an event of death. With a minimum of K2, 500 per month paid for at least three months, the beneficiary would receive a minimum of K1m in the event of death of a policy holder. 

Credit Life is designed to protect policy holders from credit related losses in case of termination of employment through redundancy, death of the insured, total and permanent disability among others. 

PLAL managing director, Mr Rajagopal Krishnaswamy, said the Bantubonse life assurance policy has been received well among the targeted clients, in the low income bracket, in the peri-urban areas of Zambia. 

He also indicated that the information regarding the policy will be made available in local languages in respective provinces. 

During the event FBZ managing director and CEO Mr. Barkat Ali said Credit Suisse are still partners in FBZ with 40% shares and FBZ still enjoys a customer base of over 120,000 customers across Zambia. FBZ has a deposit base in excess of K1 trillion. 

Women learn to give priority to the romantic and bonding aspects of the love relationship and to deny the sexual and genital aspects. Meanwhile men tend to develop a preference for the latter and to repress the bonding aspect. 

It is these differences in men and women that frequently produce misunderstandings and differences in desire in a relationship.

On the one hand, the fact that only one aspect of sexuality is accepted at the expense of the other leads to sexual experiences which can only be partially fulfilling for women and for men.  On the other hand,  because the aspect privileged by one of the partners is the one denied by the other, men and women come to have a different understanding of sexuality and consequently develop different expectations.

For example, the man would be thinking about whether he wants oral sex or a romp in the car, whilst his woman is thinking about commitment and roses. 

Frictions

These different expectations cause of frictions the relationship as each partner believes that his or her way of sexual expression is better than that of the other. The friction occurs when each partner tries to  convince the other one that his/her point of view is better.

 

Women would like their partners to be nothing other than all tender and loving. On the other hand men wish that their women could just get “wild” in bed. 

Because of these different expectations, the communication process is broken down and it becomes difficult to fulfill each other’s important needs. At the centre of this problem is the need for the woman to retain her femininity and the man his masculinity. By giving in to the man’s way of doing this, the woman feels that she is losing out. The man feels he is losing out by giving in to the woman. 

Some women feel that by giving in to a man’s demand for sex with no emotional conditions is succumbing to indecency. 

Similarly, a man does not wish to be perceived as weak and so he refuses to be tender and relational. 

However, if a relationship would have a chance of success, partners need to understand that when it comes to the issues behind the bedroom door, it is a matter give and take. 

Couples must understand that, you cannot love your partner from your own viewpoint. To love your partner you have to love them from their side. 

It then becomes necessary for men and women to recognize that their partner’s way of experiencing sexuality is complimentary to their own and that both would gain by simply integrating the other’s approach into their own way of experiencing sexuality. 

Even so, this recognition is only the first step in a long process of integration of the two aspects of sexuality within a person's and a couple's sexuality that becomes a source of pleasure and fulfillment. Here are some pointers that would help you resolve such conflicts in your own relationship. 

1.    Identify how you feel. Be clear about your own expectations and sexual needs. 

2.    Learn and understand your partners needs, expectations, and feelings regarding their own sexuality and sexual needs. 

3.    Communicate clearly your sexual feelings, expectations, and needs. 

4.    Be receptive when your partner tries to communicate their needs and expectations. 

5.    Do not look down on your partners needs or feel that your own are of superior importance. 

6.    Look at your partners needs as your opportunity for adventure and new experiences

7.    Enjoy yourself, and enjoy your partner, and enjoy you’re your union. 

The AFCON Cup on its way to Zambia

On Sunday, Zambians will go to church in the morning, pray for the Chipolopolo boys, have their Sunday family lunches, put on their Chipolopolo replica jerseys, and remember the fallen Chipolopolo team that perished off the coast of Gabon in Libreville on that fateful April 1993 day. We will hear the latest Zambian musical tracks playing at loud volumes in praise and support for the copper ammunition; from Chililabombwe to Livingstone, from Mongu to Nakonde, and from Chipata to Solwezi.

The bullets will be cautious and all blazing as they continue on their giant slaying mission. Most likely, the coach will keep his dream team together once again led by Captain Chris Katongo, with the midfield marshalled by Master Kalaba and the defence wall erected by Sunzu and the boys.

Anyway, let us leave the technical issues in the hands of the lady’s man, Renard Herve, who is well able and has the full confidence of the Zambian soccer fans and FAZ for that matter. We know well he will be in his white shirt, and we don’t mind. Sentiment around social media is that perhaps that white nice shirt should be put in the museum after the cup comes to the Lusaka on Monday 13^th February, a day before valentines when lovers will not just celebrate in red, but in green, orange, and white.

Ivory Coast is without a doubt the favourites, and that is probably the writing on the wall, “the great shall fall.” As it is written, “cursed is he whose trust is in the arm of flesh.” They will without a doubt have massive support on this Sunday in the Libreville stadium. Sadly for them their support will not be on the field of play. Our fallen heroes will this Sunday truly rest in peace as we wrap up business to their eternal pleasure. More than anyone of us, Kalusha Bwalya understands this more. Gladly he is the FAZ boss and not those other wannabes.

This final is not just an emotional moment for Zambia. We have shed tears, we have cried aloud, but in the end it is more than these powerful emotions. This final is bringing a conclusion to an outstanding matter between the past and the present. Efford Chabala and the team will stand behind our boys and the trophy will keep shaking on its stand because the forces at play are from paradigms separated by 19 years of waiting.

The first game was played on 21^st January and Mayuka wearing shirt number 20 scored in the 12^th minute. Kalaba score the second goal in the 21^st minute. That game between Zambia and Senegal ended 2 : 1 in favour of the copper bullets. Now Zambia is going to play the finals on 12^th February, 2012, in the city of serious memories. May those who have gone before us stand in the galleries beyond the river and smile; its Zambia’s time. Numbers do not lie.

When Zambia dispatched Sudan in the knock out stage at the AFCON 2012, they put 3 goals past the Sudan unanswered. Meanwhile later on Ivory Coast also scored 3 unanswered goals in the quarter finals to set up a date with Mali.

Then there arose a favourite black star from the west, Ghana. But bullets are fatal. Mayuka, Kalaba, Sunzu, Chris, Lungu, Chansa, and all the rest on field and at bench, remind you of David when he faced goliath. The bigger the size, the lesser the chance that you would miss that fatal copper shot. Big names disappoint, and as a life coach I will always share that philosophy. Your strength should be from within and not from your title.

Well, Gyan had a penalty on in the 7^th minute. But Mweene, who started the competition with a couple of silly mistakes, was taking no nonsense this time around. The penalty was taken and our goal keeper was equal to the task. Gyan did not miss, but Kennedy Mweene saved comfortably.

To cut the long story short, the big gigantic black star was left with a sorry scar when Chansa picked out Mayuka and Emma, my friend on Facebook, but who probably has no idea who I am, didn’t look like he had space, but when your time has come, balls goal through people. And Zambia scored. Chipolopolo 1 : Black Scars 0.

Ivory Coast played later and beat Mali. And so it was not the dice that was cast, it was the games that were won, and the date was made. The truth is when the boys visit the scene where the 1993 crush took place; the bullets will not just be fatal copper ammunition. They will be reinforced with emotion, motivation, and a support from the unseen dimension. And so the cup shall be in Zambia on Monday 13^th February 2012.

Who wants to bet against me now?

DAY 6: INCREASE YOUR FIQ

#WATER#GOALS#BUDGET# LETS GO

Money is not evil. Money is good. If you bought two bottles of mineral water for each of the 1 billion people who have no access to clean drinking water in the world today, you will have to be a billionaire (in US$). That is good and that is a lot of money.

Money is probably the most important commodity next only to time. However financial illiteracy is probably the waste form of disaster known to mankind.

Increase your Financial IQ daily. No matter the level of education you attain, and no matter how much money you make, without adequate financial intelligence you are a disaster, an embarrassment, and a failure just waiting to happen.

Financially intelligent people know that time is the primary source of money. They know that they cannot achieve anything in life without a proper use of their time.

Financially smart folk earn more than they spend. Average folk spend according to how they earn. Financial ignorant people spend more than they earn. Their financial cone is wide-side down.

Three skills that increase you Financial IQ

1. EARN: Learn to earn. Make it a hobby, a habit, a way of life. Whatever you do, earn. You must earn enough that your expenses would never exceed your earnings. DO NOT become a money monger and irate people with your salesmanship. But do things of value that people will be glad to pay you for it.

2. BUDGET: Budgeting is NOT writing a wish list. Most people write a wish list and call it a budget and in the end it only becomes a source of frustration. You write the budget after allocating a certain amount for the budget. In short a budget is the list of higher priority necessities that will fit in the allocated amount. Always budget based on available resources.

The process is not complete until after you have bought items, you write down what has been bought, and you compare to see your performance based on the budget that you made. This skill alone can raise your financial IQ high enough to improve your life.

3. SAVE: Those who do not save have no seeds of greatness in them. Stop being the channel of expenses in your home and become the channel of savings. Keep your expenses low to manage to save easily.

Practice insurance, investing, and giving. These will ensure that you manage your present and future smartly and live a better life tomorrow than today.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION

BUY A WATCH: If you cannot manage your time you will most likely never be able to earn, let alone manage your money.

OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT: Open an account separate from your transaction account. This will keep you out of debt. Instead of getting anything on credit, save for it and buy it when the money is enough. Ensure that such an account is not easily accessible via mobile banking or ATM cards.

BUY A DIARY AND A PEN: the secret to managing your time and finances is in writing things down. The moment you get flowing with this skill that’s the very moment your days will be fulfilling and your finances will start making sense.

SEE YOU AT THE TOP.

DAY 5: I AM STUCK

#WATER#GOALS#BUDGET

Life happens to the best of us. Day 5 is more like that. After 4 days of great stuff, you get to the place where the creativity wears thin, and the momentum is significantly much less. You wake up to higher demands and unequal energy. You find that your resolve has sublimed.

Have you ever had ideas where you got excited in the begining, you researched, you planned, you invested, and you started rolling. You even began to accrue some stable customer base but then everything just came to a standstill? There is no more freshness, the first love is gone, and the sound or cranking is getting louder. Your efforts are not having any impact.

You are officially stuck. The business is not growing. The farming project is not progressing. Your project is not inspiring. Your relationship is dry and stagnant. You are stuck in an uncomfortable place.

When things are stuck it’s a dangerous place to be at. If nothing is done quickly it can be a regrettable situation. When a business is stuck you will lose money in expenses whilst you are gaining nothing in the sales. When a career is stuck you will be working harder to keep your job whilst getting less pay. When your relationship is stuck you will be depressed without seeing a way out. When your life is stuck you will lose hope.

Three things you need to do when things get stuck;

1. INVOKE YOUR CREATIVITY AND PERSONALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

Most people think a savior will come from somewhere else. The savior lives within. DO NOT think that someone else will fix things for you. Get yourself, your business, your career, your relationship, unstuck orelse no one else really cares as much as you do.

You are the answer. That is why it is you who is faced with that situation. It is you opportunity to display your problem-solving gift. You are NOT the victim. You are being set up for victory.

If it is a business re-brand it, relocate, start a new product, or change the packaging, or redesign your delivery system, integrate social media and tap into a new dimension. Whatever you do, look within for a solution. If it is a relationship remember the things that you know your partner doesn't like and avoid them, remember the things they like and do them. Speak positively. Be considerate. Get your relationship unstuck. It got stuck so that you can get it unstuck and grow.

2. GET HELP

Some people are too proud (maybe the right word is foolish) to admit that they are stuck. The sooner you admit it the better (actually the wiser). When things are stuck the next thing is they will get damaged. The longer you stay in there the more rooten the situation gets. Many people need to get over themselves and admit that they are stuck and just call for help.

Whatever it is that you are going through someone can give you are hand. Identify the RIGHT person and let them push you out.

3. CALL IT QUITS

We have been told that quitting is not a very plausible thing. They say a winner is not a quitter. But there are times when the only way to win is to quit. Admit that your methods, ideas, or system is not going to achieve the intended result in your situation and just give up. Walk away.

Sometimes moving on from a failed project, or a broken relationship, or a non progressive career can be the hardest thing to do because we have become accustomed and acclimatized.

The moment you identify that you are stuck and that there is no way of getting yourself unstuck in order to progress, the wise thing to do maybe to quit.

REMEMBER the place where you are stuck is not your final destination. What you do about it should be with the objective to get you to your final and desired destiny in life. Whether you fix it yourself, whether you call in help, or whether you simply let go, you should move toward your destiny.

SEE YOU AT THE TOP